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Every parent wishes to act in the best possible way when dealing with children. But many of them end up in mistakes which spoil the essence of parenting. Parenting is a self learned art, thus mistakes are common. Most important is to realize these must to avoid mistakes and turn away from them. Parents most often make mistakes because they are ignorant of the ways of dealing with children. Experts have suggested many tips on positive parenting, following which will help parents to avoid most of the parenting mistakes. Let us look into the most common parenting mistakes and ways of avoiding them.
It is a crucial mistake to have unrealistic expectations about the children. It is quite natural that parents wish their children to be the best among all and the most talented. They want their kids well behaving, matured, intelligent and skilled. Good number of parents forces children to excel in all the activities and overtake same aged kids in smartness and intelligence. When the children do not meet up with the expectations of parents, they turn out to be angry and arrogant towards kids. Understanding the child is essential to help him/her develop the skill sets. Know the talents and disabilities of your child and provide training to excel in skills and overcoming the disabilities, instead of fondling unrealistic expectations and impossible ambitions about children.
Inconsistency matters a lot
Being an inconsistent parent is a mistake many parents follow. Being strict at times and being lenient and tolerant at other times is example for being inconsistent. Inconsistency confuses children and they may find it difficult to determine what to follow and what not. Consistency in parenting helps children to easily realize what is expected from them in each situation. They will also feel difficulty in coping up with the changed mood of the parents. Be clear about your parenting style and once decided; be consistent in following the same style and parenting pattern. If you prefer to be strict, then be strict always; similarly if tolerance and lenience is your way, then follow it always.
Do not argue or fight back
Arguing with kids or fighting with children is not at all the right way of conditioning them. Many parents lose control and get into argument with children. Fighting doesn’t mean the physical fight but resisting the actions of children by denying it or changing the ways of kids forcefully. When parents get into fights and arguments over trivial issues, kids learn them as the best way to defend unwanted situations in life. They will implement the same techniques towards parents later. Arguing always creates negative impacts. It is also told that when parents and kids get into arguments, kids are allowed to execute power over the parents; and in later life they may not give the due respect to the parents.
Not being role models to kids
Parents are the very first teachers and role models of every child. They observe the parents and learn from them what all they do. Many parents ask the child to follow what they say not what they do. For example, if parents smoke and ask the child do not smoke, then he/she may not, in fact, understand the necessity of not smoking when his/her role models go on doing it. Action always speaks louder than words. Whenever do an action which you want your child to avoid, never do it before the eyes of children. Give children with real life examples and parents are ideal people to provide children with positive examples by showing them off.
Parents wish to be best friends of children and mingle with them in the friendliest way. But studies prove that it a mistake and wrong parental approach. Children seldom want to see friends in parents, what they need is parental care and protection from parents. Minor friendly approach is suggested to ease the relationship between parents and children, but crossing the limits and becoming more- friends and less-parents is a must to avoid mistake. Over friendliness can be mistaken by children as over lenience and they may lose the seriousness in life and deny the due respect to parents. They may even dare to get into unwanted deeds thinking that the friendly parents may tolerate all their actions. Parents are to be parents always with the necessary affection and inevitable power of correction and supervision.